Conservativism, Personal Freedom, and Babies

I am a conservative woman. In dress and politics, I think that the less given away is best. Allow me to explain: I believe that you should keep what you make. I believe that the less you give to the government, the more you have to work for the good of not only your family, but for the rest of society. A man forcing a woman to show more skin is wrong and the government forcing you to give them more of your money is wrong. Not for the same reason, but the metaphor stands.

Based on my self-identification as a conservative, one might assume I am a Republican. That assumption is false. I may usually vote Republican, but that's because most Democrats are anti-life/anti-baby/pro-choice. I am more likely to call myself a Libertarian than anything.

Why does Libertarianism call me? I believe in personal freedoms. I believe that the government should not legislate what I eat, drink, or do. I believe that I have the right to govern my own behaviour and that I am responsible for that behaviour and the consequences thereof. Personally, I disagree with gay marriage because of my religious beliefs. I am Roman Catholic and will stand up for my beliefs as such. I have the right to do that, as granted to me by this country. Others are under no such compunction, though I do wish that the entire world shared my religious orientation because it has done so much good for my life. That is another post, though.

I do not think the federal government has the right to legislate who marries whom. Rights not granted by the states shall be covered under the federal government. States have their own marriage laws and it is not the responsibility of the federal government to say that two men cannot get married, two women cannot get married, or a man and a woman cannot get married. While I disagree with the lifestyle and the use of the word "marriage" (because marriage is a sacrament in the Catholic Church), I will not stand in the way of states passing marriage laws.

I also believe in the sanctity and dignity of human life. I believe this because I believe that individuals have the right to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. I believe that a woman or man who seeks to rob their unborn child of life is wrong, no matter what their intent or motivation. How can we allow the most precious and vulnerable amoung us to die horrible deaths before they're allowed to speak for themselves? How can we even attempt to legislate when a child is or is not alive? How dare we as a society think to excuse those who would condone the taking of a child's life, no matter how small or weak?

Ethicists in Australia recently wrote on the concept of "post-birth abortions", a concept that turns my stomach and leaves a taste in my mouth akin to ash. These individuals stated that, should a mother or family feel inconvenienced by the presence of a child under the age of two, they would be within their rights to have "post-birth abortions" -- that is, the brutal murder of an innocent child.

I think of my cats as babies. Because they're helpless without a human, being domesticated animals without claws (well, two of them don't have claws) or real "outside" experience. I wouldn't hurt my cats. I wouldn't hurt your cats. I would stop you from hurting or killing your cats because they're helpless. So why is it that the abortion apologists would kill a baby, but not a cat? I know it's a flawed argument because I'm not a vegetarian or vegan, but my point stands: there are those who stand for the right of the kittycat, but not for the right of the baby. I think that is a flawed argument.

Men, sex, and the friend-zone.

I often hear "Oh, why don't girls want a nice guy?" or "All the nice guys are in the friend-zone, right where girls left them". I'm going to call bull on that.

Let me tell you something: if you act like a girl, you're not going to get a girl. As Felonious Munk so eloquently shouted "Girls who want to date other girls are called lesbians".

Now, am I saying that there are no good guys in the friend-zone? You bet your sweet patootie there are GREAT guys in the friend-zone... none of whom I want to date. I have a lot of guy friends. Most of my friends are guys. I have no female friends with whom I hang out on a regular basis. All of them live a somewhat unreasonable distance from me, so we can't hang out (and no, you can't sit with us). So I have a lot of guy friends and we hang out and go shopping and go to dinner and don't date each other because we're friends. If I wanted to date any of my guy friends, believe me when I say that it would have already happened. Any guys reading this would probably be well-served to think about their chick friends who have "friend-zoned" them: has she ever given any indication that she wants more than friendship?

I've read the "I've been there for her when she needed someone!" and whatever. Seriously, men... act like a man. If she doesn't want you, she doesn't want you, so move on and find a girl who does want you. Because there are girls out there if you're such a "nice guy". If your chick friend can't see it, someone else will if your "niceness" is genuine.

Which brings me to sex.

I don't understand why it's such a big deal. Men and women do it. It's how you got here. I don't need to see it or hear about it or read about it every time I go somewhere. Honestly, I don't know why magazines continuously run articles about how to "please your man". Perhaps you should go to church, read the bible, meet a nice boy, and get married and please him within the confidence of marriage. Because that's sexy.

also: men.

Here's my deal with men: I like them. I like men a lot. In conclusion: don't be d-bags and we'll get on fine.

Independence.

Tomorrow is Independence Day and I will be taking the opportunity to be outside and NOT on the computer.

My Twitter feed has been full of life tweets. Frankly, this is because I'm disgusted with the current state of world affairs and I can't be buggered (pardon my language) to articulate my outrage.

In any case:
Happy Independence Day. Raise a toast to high treason tomorrow and thank God for the men and women currently fighting overseas.

We don't hear about everything the armed forces do for us. We don't hear about every mission or deployment. (As well we shouldn't: secrecy and security are at the forefront to some of these operations.) We should thank and ask God's blessing on these individuals who gave up their lives to their country and for those who gave the ultimate sacrifice.

God bless you and God bless America.

Good Friday

I'm glad it's Friday. Not because of Rebecca Black, or because of any block of programming or restaurant.

Today is Good Friday.

Today is the day we observe and commemorate the torture, crucifixion, and death of the Son of Man, who came to save us from our own sin and death, that we might never truly die.

He died for us so we might live in Him.

It had seemed for all the world like the devil had won. Jesus was dead. He had no pulse. He wasn't breathing. (In fact, crucifixion is a long, slow process of strangulation, which is why it was [1] so horrific and [2] reserved for the worst of the worst of the criminals. Fyi.) Though He could have come down from the cross at any moment, He made the choice that would change us forever.

So they buried Him. His disciples mourned him.

Everything seemed hopeless, because Christ is Hope.

That was day one.
Saturday was day two.
On day three, Jesus was no longer in the tomb. He had Risen and opened the gates of Heaven that we might not have to go to Hell.

These three days are not about having a holiday, or having a nice meal on Sunday, or self-flaggelation. Like Lent is an attempt to sacrifice for God, we will never be able to equal His sacrifice.

Even if you staunchly reject Him, He died for you. He died for us all because we are all sinners. He, who was without sin, gave himself to those who would beat, torture, crucify, and kill Him... for us. Because He knew He would rise.


I hope you all have a great Good Friday and a blessed and Holy Easter.

Not Taking That Nonsense

I like listening to country music. For the most part, anyway. Listening to it in the car all the time when what I would really prefer to listen to involves a very sexy Les Paul and some face-melting shredding isn't all the fun, but hey, Brad Paisley is pretty neat, too. In any case, I've become increasingly more aware of the "What the heck is she thinking?"-ness of Taylor Swift.

Don't get me wrong. T.Swift is AWESOME and I think she's awesome and I will not hear a word against her talent. I think she's great. Let me say that.

I also think that lyrics in song such as "You Belong With Me" and "Speak now" send entirely the wrong message.

Right now, let's address her VMA-award winning "You Belong With Me".



"Can't you see that I'm the one who understands you
Been here all along
Why can't you see
You belong with me?"


1. If a guy had written those lyrics, I do believe he'd be called "STALKERRRRR" and shunned as a nerd/dork/creeper. Seriously.
2. He belongs with you? Is he a piece of property?
3. It's his life. He will be with whomever he chooses, regardless of your personal feelings. Believe me, trying to snare him into a relationship and then him realising that he doesn't want to be with you? It hurts more than him being with someone other than you.

Quite frankly, the whole song is basically her whining at her guyfriend saying "Look at me! Look at me! Look at me!". Guys don't find whining attractive. In fact, my guyfriends basically change the subject when I start whining because they -- unlike chick friends who think "I'm so glad this isn't happening to me!" -- don't really want to hear it. It's not that they don't care that I'm having issues with my ex or that my friend is causing drama, it's that I can handle it on my own and the whole "spreading the drama" thing? Totally not awesome.
So girls: Don't whine at the guy you like. He doesn't like it. If he does, he's secretly a girl and/or vindictive and doesn't like you back. So forget him, focus on getting better at math (so that you won't get the 'har har, girlz r bad @ math!' sticker) and suck it up. You'll meet the right fella' if you stop chasing the wrong one. Trust me on this.


So "You Belong With Me" comes off as desperate? Indeed. Which is why it speaks so loudly to young girls. "I know what's best for him and the reason he doesn't like me back has NOTHING to do with the fact that I'm trying too hard." I'll paraphrase my sister's advice to me: boys don't like girls who act like boys. In other words: guys don't want to be pursued.

What about "Speak now"?



Fond gestures are exchanged
And the organ starts to play a song that sounds like a death-march
And I am hiding in the curtains
It seems that I was uninvited by your lovely bride-to-be
She floats down the aisle like a pageant queen
But I know you wish it was me
You wish it was me...
(Don't you?)

(1) I'm not married. I have, however, seen enough RomComs and been to enough weddings (two of which I was in) and know what the bride is thinking: she's terrified and excited. These are the last moments before she's permanently joined to the man she loves most of all in the world. She is stressed. She's wearing a dress that is not comfortable and she's trying not to sweat because said dress costs as much as two car-payments and she's got to wrangle bridesmaids who are, quite frankly, probably more concerned about how they look than how the bride looks or feels. She's also got these decisions to make because no one is going to ask the groom what to do with the flowers or the cake or the food. On top of that, it's entirely likely the pregnant flautist's water just broke all over the front steps to the church and she's not going to make it to the ceremony, so her thirteen-year-old cousin whose mastery of the flute is basic at best has offered to step in and... there are a lot of things that could go wrong at your wedding. Let me just say that before we get too far off topic.
(2) The bride has a lot going on without some crazy ex-girlfriend (or friend? It's not specified in the song) trying to steal her man on her wedding day. Totally not cool, Taylor Swift.
(3) I fail to see how this is healthy. Granted, the fact that most of the song takes place in a daydream does add a certain something to it. I would argue, though, that the fact that she's fantasising about breaking up her ex's/friend's wedding because she's jealous. I mean, how often does breaking up any marriage or relationship work? Honestly, it doesn't.

also:He probably kissed the bride the day before. Do you really want sloppy-seconds, girls? (The thought makes me want to vomit.)

Where one song is desperate, the other makes me want to punch her (though I am currently singing along because I'm pretending its ironic).


What this boils down to is self-respect.

I don't know any actualised, self-respecting woman who would all but beg a man to love her or break up a wedding so that she could possibly get together with the groom an hour after he's out of his tux. The icing is still cool on the cake, I don't know what you're thinking.

Maybe the operative word is "woman". A girl will pout and shout and cry that she's not getting her way. A woman -- a real woman -- is poised and takes responsibility for her actions. She also says something to her love-interest before his wedding day (to a woman he must love if he [1] spent enough time with her to want to spend the rest of his life with her and [2] got down on his knee and asked her to marry him) so that she doesn't create a spectacle of herself. Real women don't make spectacles of themselves over a man. (Pro-tip: if he had wanted to marry you, he would have asked you.)

No, I'm not married.
Yes, I have been a fool for a man. I have been a fool over more than one man.

The difference between T.Swift and I is that I've learnt from my foolishness and am not letting men mess me about.

Now, do I still like her music? Heck yes. Do I still jam out to "Love Story" whenever it comes on? Yes. Will I endeavour to be more like T.Swift in 2011 and use her songs as a pattern to my life? Oh gosh, I hope not. I'm not desperate for attention and I don't plan to break up my ex's wedding, no matter what my personal feelings on the matter (I don't want cooties to be passed to me. That's icky).

I'm Not Easy.

How many of us have taken the easy way out? We're all looking to save time, energy, and money. It's really easy, right? It's easy to tell a young girl that she's not responsible for her actions because, really, she's still just a kid, right? She made a mistake?
It's easy to throw money at a problem and make it go away. It's easy to say to people that, no, it's alright, we'll give you everything you need to survive.
It's easy to take, take, take, than ask, ask, ask.
It's easy to tout "social awareness" and "social responsibility" when what you're proposing is Id-style thinking.

Money buys everything in this society, and I'm sick of it.

I've mentioned personal responsibility before. My parents instilled in me cause and effect, and that I will eventually have to solve my own problems.

Just like the overbearing big brother associated with pretty girls, the government is -- nominally -- trying to protect us and -- actually -- seeking to control us.

The ever-present "They" is trying to take away our responsibilities so we need never do anything for ourselves. We live in a world where instant gratification is the only gratification many young people know. We live in a world where oral sex is no longer considered sex by many young people, and where 'fisting' is an appropriate and safe alternative to penetrative sex.

Pardon my language, but are you farking kidding me?

Parents no longer have any responsibility: park the kid in front of the television, or in a daycare where they'll eat snacks and play mindless games all day, then bring them home for a boxed meal, and put them in bed by eight so that mommy and daddy can stay up, have a box of wine, and complain about how hard having children is.

What ever happened to parents -- I don't know -- actually taking an interest in their children's lives? When I was little, my parents would ask me about my day, ask me about homework, help me with my spelling, help me do maths... Heck, when my dad was home, he'd read to me before I went to bed. As I got older, my parents spoke to me as a person, and now my dad and I can have actual discussions about current events.

There are public service announcements on the television imploring men to be dads. If you're going to have children, take the time to take care of them. They're your kid, but they can grow up to be your best friend.

It's easy to blame one group of people, or technology, or the 'times' or whathaveyou. It's difficult to come up with solutions to problems.

What I've seen in my limited experience, is that Liberals and Progressives are more keen at throwing money at a problem to fix it, than to get down to the root cause of the problem. As any gardner, dentist, or English major will tell you: if there's something wrong with the roots, there's something wrong with the whole. The whole is a symptom of the bigger problem.

It takes thinking. But with however-many people there are in this world (seven billion, is it?), we're not coming up with many solutions. It's money and murder we're throwing at everyone. We're throwing our lives and money away on what we need to be devoting our time, love, and work ethic.

But with a Liberal majority in the House and Senate, we're throwing money at problems. I'm repeating myself, and I feel like a broken record, but I'll reiterate: money won't solve the problem. Money is part of the problem, and we, the American people, don't have enough left over to throw at these problems, anymore.
WE are going bankrupt and the politicians are getting richer off of our taxes.

Look, it's not easy to think for yourself. I guess that's why so many people are Liberals: they don't want to put in the effort to think for themselves and come up with real-world solutions to problems (including that porous border, our reliance on foreign oil, and the fact that our Fearless Leader kow-tows to every foreign dignitary to step foot on American soil, when our citizens are looked down upon by our government because we're mere plebes compared to the suits we put in office).

We're not thinking. All we're doing is parroting the opinions of those we place above ourselves in the social hierarchy so that we can sound intelligent.

I'm sorry, even when I'm playing dumb, I know better than to put anyone above myself that I've never seen without shoes.

So please, don't be easy.

It takes a village.

I grew up in Hawaii. There would be those who would argue that I haven't grown up yet.

I think it's more than age or time that counts for "growing up" and "maturity".
We'll get back to that later on.

Let's talk about being an ousider.

In Hawaii, there is a very large population of immigrants from Asia, the Philippines, Samoa, Tonga, and... you get the picture. And, if you know anything about the culture of those places, you'll know that people are extremely welcoming. You know the song "Southern Voice" by Tim McGraw? There's a line in there: "Howdy y'all//Did ya eat?//Come on in//I'm sure glad to know ya". Many of the women I was priviledged enough to meet and get to know were that way. Many ladies who didn't know me from Adam would say "Oh, honey, come eat".
Even strangers: I was stuck at a bus stop and I started talking to a woman who stayed in Chinatown during the week and went back to Kailua on the weekends called me "baby". People are friendly, and it rubs off on you. You're allowed to hug strangers, and you're allowed to call someone you just met "honey".

Not so back on the mainland, I've found.
I'm white. I don't get the distinction of being 'Irish-American' or 'Anglo-American', or even 'European-American'. Nope, according to all the census forms, standardised tests, and financial aid applications I've filled out, I am white.

I was working at this restaurant in Guam before my family moved back to "the States" (as we called the US in Guam) and I was bussing tables. I loved the job, I loved the place, I loved the people. No problem. So I asked a gentleman how he was doing as I took his finished plates. He said he was doing well, and looked a little perplexed. He asked me if I was the owner's daughter. I said, "Oh, no... she's not around..." and then he asked me the question I had learnt to dread:
"Oh, are you a military dependent?"
There it was.
Yes. I am. My father has served this beautiful country for almost thirty years.
I told the man "Oh, yes, my dad's in the Navy. Er... How could you tell?"
Here it comes...
"Because you're white."
I looked down at my hands sticking out from the long sleeves of my black workshirt, looked at my coworkers in their tanktops, looked back at my hands and said "Really? I couldn't tell. Thank you!". Of course, I said it all in a very joking manner, and we all laughed because it was a pretty lighthearted moment.

However, it does speak back to generalisations and being the obvious outsider and that being really scary. If you go to a new place and you're the obvious "new girl" (a title I finished high school with, along with another girl, having moved the middle of Senior year), it can put your back up. It can make you wonder why you're unhappy.

Thankfully, I made some of the best friends ever the first few weeks I was there, and am proud to call them my fristers.

"It takes a village to raise a kid" is what "they" say. Yeah, it does, and it takes not knowing the steps to appreciate the dance.

That said: good gracious, this is all new.