Love, actually.

There's a lot of pressure to say "happy holidays" or have a "holiday party" (vice the "Christmas party" of days past).

Am I aware that there is, indeed, more than one holiday that traditionally falls in December? Absolutely. Do I recognise that Chanukah and Yule and non-Christian holidays are, indeed, present? Yes, I do.

That does not mean, however, that I'm not going to wish someone a Happy Christmas after they wish me a "Happy Holidays".

Sure, chalk it up to my religion (Roman Catholic) or my political leanings (pro-life, pro-family, pro-military, pro-business, pro-job, pro-government reform with Libertarian principles somewhere in realm of "conservative"), or whatever helps you sleep at night.

The fact of the matter is that we don't go "holiday" shopping. Y'all, we go "Christmas shopping" and send out "Christmas cards" and buy "Christmas stockings". How many children are opening their stockings on Secular Reception-of-Presents day? Take out the sock and you've got a birthday! Take out Jesus and you've got... not much. (Spare the "Oh, but there's Yule!! That's a valid holiday! What about Chanukah? (And why are you spelling it with a C??? CNN TOLD ME IT WAS HANUKKAH!!!) Or Kwanzaa? (OMG ARE YOU AN ANTI-SEMITIC RACIST?? DO YOU VOTE REPUBLICAN, AS WELL????) And what about the traditional meals and exchanging of presents and the togetherness and the singing! DON'T FORGET THE SINGING! THAT'S THE MOST IMPORTANT PART! It's all about food, presents, candy, and the good ol' Festivus spirit!" for someone who actually really does care. Unfortunately for those holding the "but it's holiday spirit" sentiments, I really don't give a good-gosh-darned-hoot-and-holler.)

Christmas, though, IS a birthday. It's the birth of Jesus that most people are celebrating ("Christians stole it from the Pagans, yadda yadda yadda, Christians cause war, John Lennon said so... blah blah blah, DIE CAPITALIST/IMPERIALIST/CONSUMERIST/CHRISTIAN/MONOTHEISTIC [pick one] SWINE!!!" et al, ad nauseum) and it's this that brings people flooding en mass to churches around the world and it's this that causes that great surge of feasting and joy and... dare I say?... love?

There's a reason that there've been so many films made about Christmas, and why the best and most popular are about the Christmas spirit... not the "holiday spirit". Maybe the "spirit of the holiday", but that "holiday" is Christmas. It's not a dirty word, my dear, it's alright to say "Christmas". Really, no one will hurt you, you're safe.

So what makes Christmas?
Is it the presents, snow, and mistletoe? Is it the tree? Is it the really great fruitcake?
That's up to you. Everyone has their own traditions and beliefs. For every person out there, there are that many different systems of belief.

I don't really care about presents. I asked for a kitchen gadget this year, and that was it. I've also lived on islands most of my life. The only times I've seen snow were when I visited my grandparents. As for the mistletoe... No thanks. The tree I can do without (though it is mighty pretty once it's all lit-up and decorated) and the fruitcake usually needs a few days to properly soak and ferment before I'll eat it.
For me, Christmas is about love. It's about God's love and it's about the love I have for my family and extended family and network of friends. For me, Christmas is waking up on that morning and having that day with my family and that sense of love that permeates the day. It's -- to me -- about filling myself with love for my fellow man and for my (very tolerant, very forgiving, and all-around indescribable) God.

I guess when it gets down to it... to the bare bones... to the meaning of Christ's birth... Christmas is REALLY about love, actually.

I don't think I'll attempt to change that.


I've got Christmas to celebrate and scarves to knit and a house to clean.


Have a happy Christmas and a blessed New Year.

Where does that leave us, then?

It's kind of weird. I've been Writing About Myself On The Interwebs (as would be an appropriate way of putting it) for going on six years. In that time, I've met and spoken to some really lovely people -- people I'm glad to have met, or was glad to have in my life at some point.

I was going through my 'friends list' on LiveJournal and I realised I couldn't remember one girl's name. Going back through my files, I'm not sure we ever exchanged names.

Sometimes you have to wonder if heartbreak is ever worth it. Not just the 'romantic' type, either. The absolute devastation when you realise after a while that certain friends have outgrown you, or you've outgrown certain friends. This, I think, is one of the few things that really scares me. And it doesn't truly matter how old you are, or how long you've known each other when you've grown apart from someone... sometimes things just don't 'work out' the way you want them to. Sometimes it's best to let go of those people -- those emotions -- and sort of grab a tighter hold on yourself. Not because you no longer like or love these friends, but because it's what's best for you... or because it's what's best for them.

Then you have to ask yourself whether you really did ever love that person or those people. You doubt yourself because you don't want to admit that you can stop loving someone because that means that someone could stop loving you. That's not a fun possibility. To look at it another way, there's the "love changes" concept. There's the idea that love itself is an energy which can neither be created nor destroyed, but which may change when acted upon.

There will be times when I'll have to make decisions based on what's right for others instead of what's right for myself. There will also be times I'll have to be selfish in order to grow up or move on or whatever it is that I'm trying to accomplish.

The big 'issue' with that, I suppose, is this: where do you draw the line? Where does 'taking care of yourself' become 'selfishness', and where does 'helping others' become 'running yourself ragged'? When did we start putting a price on helping people who need help? When did we start putting 'minimum donation' on charity? When did that start becoming necessary? Why are any of these questions relevant?

Idle hands are the devil's playground and idle talk is the devil's doing. That's my opinion. Idle "I love you"s when you don't mean it at all, or talk for the sake of talk. Gossip and all of those nasty habits we learn from age-whatever don't ever help us. To me, that seems to be why we rely so much on technology. While the internet is so open and like a great big ocean of death and ruined reputations, everyone's here and everyone is technically anonymous. We can trash-talk our best friends and no one is going to say anything because it's none of their business, but then it's still everyone's business.

Something to ask people when you get the "it's not you, it's me" talk (or the "it's really you, it's definitely not me" talk), is "So what would you like to do about this?". If you honestly love someone, fight for them. You'd want someone to fight for you, so fight for those you love.

Stranger's Perspective

Sometimes, it's difficult to view yourself from a stranger's perspective. Oftentimes, the reason is arrogance, or a "don't judge me" attitude. I usually look inwards, at what I think I'm doing, or where I think I'm going, or at what I can (or, likely, should) change about myself. It's "omg so hard!" to switch that perspective because you're so close to yourself (if that makes sense).

The best way for me to describe it would be for an artist to look at a piece of art. Whether you're a writer, painter, sculptor, musician... anything... you're always blind to your work. It doesn't matter how many people love it because you may think it's absolute rubbish. Conversely, you may defend your work with more voracity than you would another piece of work because it's your work. Do you see? You're 'too close' to the 'project'. In this case, the work of art is yourself.

Personally, I had a difficult time looking at myself honestly. I was never pretty enough, smart enough, or anything enough to suit me. I finally realised after years of angsting over myself that I was, in fact, pretty and -- if not actually 'smart' -- half-way intelligent. I had to convince myself that I was "good" enough to be happy. And that didn't bring me any sort of happiness, let me tell you internet.

Instead of feeling liberated, I felt naked. I felt wronged, in some way, because I had been so caught up on myself that I failed to see those around me, and how I affected them. This past year hasn't exactly been the best for personal relationships or familial relationships. I've lost more than I've gained. I won't say that it doesn't hurt, or doesn't make me sad. What I will say is that I have no regrets.

What is regret but wasted emotion? You spend all your time loving someone, making something, not loving someone, not making something... whatever it was that you were or weren't doing... and then you're expected to discount your actions to the point where you "regret". You can't change the past, but you can create a future. You can recognise what you did that wasn't on par with what you probably should have been doing, and you can learn from your past. That's what it's there for, that's why it's past. There's no use trying to change it. What happens, happens. Who are we to try to plaster those holes?

I talk about regret a lot. I talk about how wanting something else to have happened instead of what did is useless. Do I wish that things in my past hadn't happened? Absolutely. ("I wish that I'd listened to my maternal grandparents more before they passed away." "I wish that maybe I hadn't lacked the stoicity to be done with boys I've dated." "I wish that maybe I hadn't had that whole bottle of wine last night.") I'm sorry that things have happened the way they did. I'm sorry about a lot of stuff. I feel shamed about a lot of stuff, because it brings shame to my family, as well. But who I am, where I am, what I am... is all a product of my actions. And I'm in a pretty good place. It could be better, but without "better", what's the rest of your life for?


-

Sometimes, it feels like I put too much of myself out there. Sometimes it feels like not enough. Too much, because I have an overwhelming feeling of "being responsible" for others, and not enough because it still does no good. The only thing I can do for others is be there and keep them honest.

What is honesty, though? What does "keep them honest" mean? Is that supposed to mean that I stop people when they're talking and say "You're a lying liar who lies like a dog"? Or is that something more subtle? Is that an example others are supposed to follow?

It kind of reminds me of Carrot in the Discworld Series. He's got "bags of krisma" and personality and treats everyone "like they're jolly good chaps". In turn, even the most notorious of criminals in his city don't want to let Carrot down. Because CARROT is such a great guy.

What I think is that we should take this character and attempt to learn from his example. We should be fundamentally good people and be honest and kind and just good so that others will take that example and run with it.

That's the best way to keep people honest.


But what do I know? I'm a stranger.

Everyone you ever were made you who you are today.

Sometimes, I'm not sure what 'reality' is. I'll be doing something completely ordinary, and then get a 'flash' (as I call them) of myself from another person's perspective. My own idiosyncracies often count for nothing among strangers, though my close friends know when I've reached the end of my tether (which hardly happens, as I keep a firm rein on my anger and emotions most of the time, starting not too long ago).

I'll be having a conversation and I'll see myself even more clearly from someone else's perspective. It's... intimidating. To know so many of your own shortcomings, and then have so much else bared to you and to see how ridiculous you look from outside your eyes. I try to welcome these moments, take a step back, and re-think my actions and the possible outcomes. The past few weeks, I've been trying for a more circumspect lifestyle and a less impulsive one. Instead of drafting an actual email to an old friend about how I feel hurt or betrayed by actions they took, I stop and amend my thoughts with the statement "I understand clearly that you thought you were doing what was best for both of us, however..." and carry on in that train.

It takes more than anyone's eyes are worth for me to lose my temper. I've made a conscious decision to be less emotional and to not let anything faze me. If I do, how am I supposed to look at situations objectively and make an informed decision. Personally, I think that's where my Faith (with a capital F) comes into play. My faith in God and in the people around me, my faith that everything happens for a reason and that every bad situation or "bad luck day" has a greater purpose than to make everyone miserable. I've witnessed the balance of my worst days with my best friends' best days. Everything that has happened to me or around me or because of me, has happened for a bigger reason. Whether that reason was a push in a healthy direction, a catalyst to moving on in life, or simply a stepping-block to a different lifestyle, who I am and what I do affects those around me more than I will realise in the moment.

That said, there are times when I'll make a decision to do something (or not do something, as is more common, as I am not perfect) and will immediately think "This will really affect me later on". Whether I rectify my actions is another story. Sometimes, it's too late to do anything. Sometimes, there isn't a way back. Most of the time, going back serves no purpose but to exacerbate the worse parts of life.

That's something I'm slowly (but definitely surely) learning. How to pick myself up and correct my mistakes without going back. I try to moderate myself, lately, to make myself think before I speak or act. I'm not a trained "anything", so my behaviours are based solely on what I think is appropriate at any given moment, based on social cues of past similar situations.

One action I find nearly impossible is to maintain anger. A brief flash of anger, an unmeasured statement, and then... I'm not angry. I can't be angry. There's no need for anger, or ever an appropriate situation where anger would be the key to unlocking any mystery or solving any puzzle. A cool head, a cool tone, a cool demeanour, often warrant a greater response than white-hot anger. There's no call for it, see?

The hardest part of anything is not being afraid to be yourself, no matter what the cost to your so-called 'dignity'.


Peace.

'never give up on something that made you smile'

I don't smile enough. Of course, no one can smile "enough", so maybe it doesn't matter if you do or do not.

You just have to try.


I'm visiting Tokyo for the next five days.
I'm deleting my Facebook.
I'm cutting ties.


Nothing ever feels good, but it's up to you to make yourself happy. No one can do it for you.

New Things

I like what I like. If someone introduces me to a new band or food or something, and I like it, then I like it. It's not about what's popular or new, to me. It's so much more about liking what I like. I'm sometimes not open to "new experiences", but I learn what I like without throwing myself headfirst into a pit of piranhas, you could say.

And, like everyone, my taste changes. Quite a bit.

I spent twelve years in Hawaii and enjoyed it.
And I never want to move back.

There's so much that I've done and haven't done there, but I really think that it's time for me to move on from that part of the world. I LOVE Hawaii and will never forget it. I just don't want to live somewhere for the rest of my life. I don't want to be completely tied down to something. I change so much on a monthly basis, just in philosophy, I don't think I could live somewhere for that long again. There's so much... MORE... to the world than I had there. And while I love the people there and will try my best to keep in contact with my close friends who remain there... I don't want to go back.

This guy I used to date joined the Navy right after I left for Guam in January 2008, and shipped out last October/November. He and I were talking and he was talking about moving back to Hawaii after boot camp and A-school... and I convinced him not to. My mum is a big fan of the phrase "You join the military to see the world", but that wasn't the reason I pleaded with him NOT to move back to Hawaii.

When you spend time somewhere, you leave a part of yourself behind. If you leave for less than a year, and then move back, you fall into the same things you were doing before you left, regardless of what's changed about you.

Maybe you'd call me selfish for reasoning with him over something that is quite obviously his choice and impacts his career and has a greater effect on him than it does on me, and I wouldn't blame you. And you'd call me arrogant the moment I expressed that I felt that I knew that it wasn't a good idea.

I'm one of those odd, strange, difficult people who wants the best for her friends. I'm not saying that I'm impervious to making mistakes, or that I've never been hypocritical or that I've never been stupid when it's come to a person I cared about. Maybe I was arrogant or wrong when I advised this ex-boyfriend to stay away from Hawaii for a few years. I'll admit that. I wanted what I thought was best for him, and what I thought was best (as a friend, girlfriend, and "Good Influence") was for him to be somewhere other than Hawaii. He eventually agreed and took my advice and I hope that it turns out to be the right thing for him in the long run regarding his career, and I hope that he's doing really well right now.

I tend to think of myself as "right". I usually think that I'm correct in pretty much everything. It's a personality flaw.


To get back to my point: I don't want to go back to Hawaii. I feel like I'd be moving backwards in my growth, you know?

So I've decided that I don't ever want to live in the same place twice (or, thrice) again. I'll keep moving until I'm too happy to be somewhere.

I don't mind new things. It stands to reason that, because my love life is non-existent, I'm not completely satisfied with my life, and I don't know what lasting happiness feels like, that I could stand for some new experiences. I'm not so much uncomfortable in new experiences as much as I'm too busy thinking "What the hell, this is like a film and sooner or later some plot twist is going to come up and this whole thing is going to come falling down around your ears and you're going to go crawling home with a broken back because you were too dumb to just stay home and study the flying patterns of the bees..." or something.


So... Peace.

Somehow, everything will end how it must.

I was newly-eleven when my gram died. I sat side-ways in the bucket-seat of the backseat of the van and looked out the window at the Rhode Island country. I think I had chamomile tea one day as we drove up from our house in Connecticut, because I remember that I fell asleep... this was the year before when my grampy died. And the same brain-fuzz came over me as we drove up. And I sat side-ways in the bucket-seat of the back of the van on the way to the house my mother grew up in, now called my mother's brother's house instead of "Olive's house", as it had been the year before, when my grampy died. Respect for the dead, or just not wanting to have to imagine the dead retaining something many of the living do not, even if the dead have heirs to inherit.

Two deaths in a year and there's still a chasm between the time before my gram died and the time I returned to school two weeks later.




My hair's been cut. I quit my job last month. I ended it for good with my no-longer-actual-boyfriend-but-somehow-still-is-there-boyfriend.


May be moving soonish.
Let me not be stupid.

I live in beauty. But only on Thursdays.

So a couple of days ago I put a crack in my laptop display. One single crack diagonally across the super-awesome hi-res screen I have come to love like a child. I very nearly cried.

So I took it into the computer repair place yesterday and they said "We don't have the right size display, but if you order it, we can totally put it in for you and you can give us your moneys for it". Unfortunately, it seems that the display runs about... 350$. Oh yeah. Plus shipping and handling and all that crazy crap. And then I don't even know if I'm looking at the right thing because I'm absolute bollocks when it comes to computer-putting-together-stuff (also with sentence-putting-together-stuff, obviously). And THEN I saw the cutest little laptops EVER. EVER.

So for four-hundred, I can get my current laptop fixed and repaired and it'll be shiny and I'll be able to see my whole screen.
Or I can get a new laptop entirely for about five hundred. It'd be about two-thirds the size of this beast, have a webcam and microphone built in (which this one does not, unfortunately). But it wouldn't run Vista and I am a Vista whore. (Yeah, I'm one of those PC people. Vista is awesome, in my opinion, and I'd rather customise, upgrade, and all that happy crap than have a standard Mac whatever thing. Everyone knows all Mac-users go to Hell, anyway.)

So I'm conflicted.

Also: I need a new job. Hurrah.


Oh. And I've seen Star Trek twice already. And will be going again this weekend. And cry like a little girl when I do. Because I sobbed this last time. Seriously. My dad looked over at me and said "Pull it together. Man up, woman".

I went to the grocery store today with my parents and was told "Get some fruit, then whatever you want in the produce section". Honestly, that was the best thing they could have said because I spent almost half an hour squeezing citrus, cucumbers, and capsicum, allowing them to go through the aisles without asking the inevitable "Do we need anything down here?". (Most dangerous question on the planet, that.)
But we got out of there pretty quickly. Dad had worked for almost three days straight, so he found this amusing.
[Int. Supermarket. Toilet-paper, paper-towel, and bin-bag aisle.]
Mum: Ooer! Trashbags!
Me: Get the white ones!
[scene]

And "Do you want any flavoured cream cheese?".



I just spent the last two hours watching old "Any Dream Will Do" performances. Honestly, I've never been so impressed by male vocalists in my life. I'm used to mostly-untrained vocals, or vocals that were trained after the fact, but I've not really spent much time listening to men who've spent years working on their tone and pitch before they started performing on stage. It's bizarre to me, almost, how great they sound. They kind of make me want to stop singing for the rest of my life.


It's been a long month.



For some people, love is like money: the more they have of it, the less it begins to mean to them.

"Ma'am, I would suggest Googling it."

Cable has been sporadic today, so this post has been... yeah.

Anyway.

I've survived my first pay-period at work. It was kind of awesome. I also made my First Ever Adult Purchase: my own actual mobile phone. In my name, on my card, paid for with my money.
It? Is pink and awesome.
Like me. Only I'm, yanno, not pink.
I'm super-excited about it.

Cable is out right now, meaning that my writing this is about the only interesting thing I'm capable of doing with the internet at the moment. It's not even that interesting, either, as this is rather like a... whaddyacall... New Document in the thing... with the words... word-processor or sommat.

Oh yes... so very eloquent, ma'am.

So I started work a couple of weeks ago. It's kind of great. I work at a vegetarian grocery store. It's great. I also get lunch everyday, courtesy of the lunch-counter in the front of the store, next to the register, which is what I ring up every day. Which is where I may be found five days a week, mostly between the hours of eleven and two, but also before and after that on Mondays and Fridays. How splendid.

I actually really love my job. I love being friendly to people. It's such a nice change from being a complete and utter nutter and hermit. I kid thee not, it's easier than curling up and screaming "I HATE YOU ALL" at the top of my lungs every morning. And I get paid for doing something I've discovered I'm good at. Go figure.

Unfortunately, I don't drive. Still. Deficiency, thy name is me.
However, I should be starting lessons soon. Ish. Maybe. Because I could have my license by December if I play my cards right. And if I can get everything done YESTERDAY.
Because Guam is weird in that it takes about a year to get a full license.
Uh... yeah. Whether you're sixteen or one-hundred and sixty or anywhere in between. Seriously. And they want to make the laws stricter about it.
Hoops: It is time to jump through them like a trained seal.
(I would say "trained tiger", but I disapprove of performing animals in general and it seems that seals/sea-lions are treated the best of the lot, even if they are made to do the most ridiculous of unnatural stunts.)

Oh dear... I do think it's rubbed off on me.

One of my duties at the store is to stock PETA and SDA pamphlets in the dining-area. Unfortunately, I do not approve of PETA in general (something about 98% of adoptable animals being euthanaised... What? And the marketing to children... Which is absolutely disgusting to me because of the mass propaganda and half-truths being sold to these impressionable minds... for free), and I'm not a member of the SDA church. (I don't mind stocking SDA pamphlets. Mostly because the store is owned and run by the SDA and there are quite a few pamphlets about suicide prevention, being smart about dating, and not getting discouraged in this financial down-swing. I rather like that.)

And about PETA:
I'm not a vegetarian. Plain and simple. I did it for a few months, got sick, and started eating meat. I respect vegetarianism, yanno? There are definite health-benefits if done properly (and if you're not loading yourself with chemicals to make the food meat-flavoured... that baffles me) and all that.
And I love animals. Seriously. I have chickens in my back garden and two cats who have taken over my house, heart, and closet (thank goodness for lint-rollers and dryer-sheets). If I see an animal, I usually try to cutesy-talk it (unless said animal is attempting to bite my face off... or is a large dog not on a leash and with a penchant for attempting to eat the tires on the truck... yeah...) and pet it and whatnot.
And yeah. I eat cow, pig, and chicken. I've also been known to eat lamb. And buffalo.
The thing is... these animals were bred for this. Most farmers treat their livestock very well. Because the livestock are the source of income for these farmers.
Should the animals be treated with respect before they are humanely slaughtered? Of course. Of course they should. (Viva la Kosher beef, &c.)
But to use "shock tactics" to say "Don't eat meat, this is where it comes from!" to people, using pictures of "farms" that've probably been shut down by SPCA (who... actually DO get their animals adopted by people, oddly... hmm) for animal cruelty (YES, THAT IS WHAT THE SPCA IS HERE FOR!)... that's going overboard. Especially when CHILDREN view the images. On the internet. With parental consent, supervision, and trust.

I'm definitely not saying "OMG CENSOR THE INTERNETS!!!!11". Because I like the internets. I like being able to find stuff. I like being able to say stuff on the internets and not care that some bloke in a bad suit is going to come black-bag me and torture me for speaking out against the government and planting evidence of terrorism, treason, and really bad skin all over my house. Simply because SOMEONE doesn't like the way I think.
What I am saying is: be tasteful in your child-aimed pamphlets and whatnot. Because I will find out and complain. And I'm damn good at complaining about stuff I have no business complaining about.


So yeah... frigging adopt animals.
And support the SPCA. Because, seriously, I've been to some really amazing SPCA shelters. And the WSPCA has done awesome work all over the world to end some of the more horrific animal cruelty out there. (Their commercials make me cry like a kid without a lollipop at the doctor's.)
Seriously. Time, money, supplies... whatever. Adopt, foster, visit... it doesn't take very long. A couple of hours a week at a shelter, just sitting with the cats or walking the dogs goes a long way to facilitate the adoption process.

And if the spirit moves you... don't eat meat. Or eat meat. Or only eat meat on Thursdays when it rains. Or don't eat meat only on Thursdays when it rains.
It doesn't matter to me.
But seriously? Don't be a douche about your vegetarianism/omnivorism [delete as appropriate]. Don't get all self-righteous at me, citing the Bible as a reference. I'll cite you right back from the same book, a few verses before you, and probably pwn your bottom simply because I'll look cuter doing it. And won't have shoved it in your face to begin with.


Animals? I love animals.
Cats, dogs (as long as they don't... drool... on me), cows, horses, pigs, manatees, chickens, fish, eels, geese, gorillas, lemurs, platypuses... I love them all. The weirder, the better.
But I'll also eat meat if it's put in front of me. Regardless of where it came from. It's dead. I'm not going to stand on principle and say "ZOMG IT WAS SLAUGHTERED INHUMANELY THEREFORE I WILL GO HUNGRY UNTIL I GET SOME ETHICALLY-TREATED MEAT!!!11". I sit down, shut up, and eat my food. Because I may have to go hungry tomorrow. Fact. Of. Life.
(I do draw the line at modern cadavers. I know what people eat. That's just icky. Maybe if I didn't know.)




Anyway.
A lot of my job has to do with answering phones and questions. So I get a lot of questions like "Do you carry [insert product]?". But sometimes we get people seeking nutrition advice and dieting advice. When this happens, something like "Fibre... can I find that in like... a powder?" is easy to answer. Something like "Gluten-fre flour... what it that?" will get a "Ma'am, some people are allergic to gluten, and have a disease called Celiac. We carry many allergen-free foods, and gluten-free flour happens to be one of them". That sometimes leads to another question, such as: "Is that better for diabetics?". When I can't answer a question, my first instinct is to ask my boss. If my boss doesn't know, we use the old stand-by:
"Ma'am, I don't know. I would suggest Googling it."
Especially when we get the "I can't see my doctor about it because he's not homoeopathic!"
...
"Ma'am, you may still want to consult your doctor. I am not a medical professional and I am not certified to answer any health-related questions. If you're unsure, I would suggest Googling it."
Also:
"Do you all have a diet-plan?"
"No, ma'am. However, you could Google a healthy-eating diet and probably find many websites with appropriate support groups to help you along your way. Good luck and thank you for calling".
I'm good for questions about colon cleansing, detoxification, and "Is this organic/natural/raw?". Mostly because the raw/organic/natural is on the packaging. And my father went on a detoxification regime a couple of years ago and I learnt more about the human digestive system I really wanted to know. So, yeah, "I can recommend the CS Detox tea. Because I've had it. And that colon cleanse? In the white container? Seriously works, but I wouldn't recommend that if you're 'just' constipated, because that can seriously mess up your social life." Just saying.



I honestly love my job. I love what I do. And I love the twenty-five percent discount I get.