I often hear "Oh, why don't girls want a nice guy?" or "All the nice guys are in the friend-zone, right where girls left them". I'm going to call bull on that.
Let me tell you something: if you act like a girl, you're not going to get a girl. As Felonious Munk so eloquently shouted "Girls who want to date other girls are called lesbians".
Now, am I saying that there are no good guys in the friend-zone? You bet your sweet patootie there are GREAT guys in the friend-zone... none of whom I want to date. I have a lot of guy friends. Most of my friends are guys. I have no female friends with whom I hang out on a regular basis. All of them live a somewhat unreasonable distance from me, so we can't hang out (and no, you can't sit with us). So I have a lot of guy friends and we hang out and go shopping and go to dinner and don't date each other because we're friends. If I wanted to date any of my guy friends, believe me when I say that it would have already happened. Any guys reading this would probably be well-served to think about their chick friends who have "friend-zoned" them: has she ever given any indication that she wants more than friendship?
I've read the "I've been there for her when she needed someone!" and whatever. Seriously, men... act like a man. If she doesn't want you, she doesn't want you, so move on and find a girl who does want you. Because there are girls out there if you're such a "nice guy". If your chick friend can't see it, someone else will if your "niceness" is genuine.
Which brings me to sex.
I don't understand why it's such a big deal. Men and women do it. It's how you got here. I don't need to see it or hear about it or read about it every time I go somewhere. Honestly, I don't know why magazines continuously run articles about how to "please your man". Perhaps you should go to church, read the bible, meet a nice boy, and get married and please him within the confidence of marriage. Because that's sexy.
also: men.
Here's my deal with men: I like them. I like men a lot. In conclusion: don't be d-bags and we'll get on fine.
Saturday 31 December 2011
Monday 4 July 2011
Independence.
Tomorrow is Independence Day and I will be taking the opportunity to be outside and NOT on the computer.
My Twitter feed has been full of life tweets. Frankly, this is because I'm disgusted with the current state of world affairs and I can't be buggered (pardon my language) to articulate my outrage.
In any case:
Happy Independence Day. Raise a toast to high treason tomorrow and thank God for the men and women currently fighting overseas.
We don't hear about everything the armed forces do for us. We don't hear about every mission or deployment. (As well we shouldn't: secrecy and security are at the forefront to some of these operations.) We should thank and ask God's blessing on these individuals who gave up their lives to their country and for those who gave the ultimate sacrifice.
God bless you and God bless America.
My Twitter feed has been full of life tweets. Frankly, this is because I'm disgusted with the current state of world affairs and I can't be buggered (pardon my language) to articulate my outrage.
In any case:
Happy Independence Day. Raise a toast to high treason tomorrow and thank God for the men and women currently fighting overseas.
We don't hear about everything the armed forces do for us. We don't hear about every mission or deployment. (As well we shouldn't: secrecy and security are at the forefront to some of these operations.) We should thank and ask God's blessing on these individuals who gave up their lives to their country and for those who gave the ultimate sacrifice.
God bless you and God bless America.
Saturday 23 April 2011
Good Friday
I'm glad it's Friday. Not because of Rebecca Black, or because of any block of programming or restaurant.
Today is Good Friday.
Today is the day we observe and commemorate the torture, crucifixion, and death of the Son of Man, who came to save us from our own sin and death, that we might never truly die.
He died for us so we might live in Him.
It had seemed for all the world like the devil had won. Jesus was dead. He had no pulse. He wasn't breathing. (In fact, crucifixion is a long, slow process of strangulation, which is why it was [1] so horrific and [2] reserved for the worst of the worst of the criminals. Fyi.) Though He could have come down from the cross at any moment, He made the choice that would change us forever.
So they buried Him. His disciples mourned him.
Everything seemed hopeless, because Christ is Hope.
That was day one.
Saturday was day two.
On day three, Jesus was no longer in the tomb. He had Risen and opened the gates of Heaven that we might not have to go to Hell.
These three days are not about having a holiday, or having a nice meal on Sunday, or self-flaggelation. Like Lent is an attempt to sacrifice for God, we will never be able to equal His sacrifice.
Even if you staunchly reject Him, He died for you. He died for us all because we are all sinners. He, who was without sin, gave himself to those who would beat, torture, crucify, and kill Him... for us. Because He knew He would rise.
I hope you all have a great Good Friday and a blessed and Holy Easter.
Today is Good Friday.
Today is the day we observe and commemorate the torture, crucifixion, and death of the Son of Man, who came to save us from our own sin and death, that we might never truly die.
He died for us so we might live in Him.
It had seemed for all the world like the devil had won. Jesus was dead. He had no pulse. He wasn't breathing. (In fact, crucifixion is a long, slow process of strangulation, which is why it was [1] so horrific and [2] reserved for the worst of the worst of the criminals. Fyi.) Though He could have come down from the cross at any moment, He made the choice that would change us forever.
So they buried Him. His disciples mourned him.
Everything seemed hopeless, because Christ is Hope.
That was day one.
Saturday was day two.
On day three, Jesus was no longer in the tomb. He had Risen and opened the gates of Heaven that we might not have to go to Hell.
These three days are not about having a holiday, or having a nice meal on Sunday, or self-flaggelation. Like Lent is an attempt to sacrifice for God, we will never be able to equal His sacrifice.
Even if you staunchly reject Him, He died for you. He died for us all because we are all sinners. He, who was without sin, gave himself to those who would beat, torture, crucify, and kill Him... for us. Because He knew He would rise.
I hope you all have a great Good Friday and a blessed and Holy Easter.
Sunday 13 February 2011
Not Taking That Nonsense
I like listening to country music. For the most part, anyway. Listening to it in the car all the time when what I would really prefer to listen to involves a very sexy Les Paul and some face-melting shredding isn't all the fun, but hey, Brad Paisley is pretty neat, too. In any case, I've become increasingly more aware of the "What the heck is she thinking?"-ness of Taylor Swift.
Don't get me wrong. T.Swift is AWESOME and I think she's awesome and I will not hear a word against her talent. I think she's great. Let me say that.
I also think that lyrics in song such as "You Belong With Me" and "Speak now" send entirely the wrong message.
Right now, let's address her VMA-award winning "You Belong With Me".
"Can't you see that I'm the one who understands you
Been here all along
Why can't you see
You belong with me?"
1. If a guy had written those lyrics, I do believe he'd be called "STALKERRRRR" and shunned as a nerd/dork/creeper. Seriously.
2. He belongs with you? Is he a piece of property?
3. It's his life. He will be with whomever he chooses, regardless of your personal feelings. Believe me, trying to snare him into a relationship and then him realising that he doesn't want to be with you? It hurts more than him being with someone other than you.
Quite frankly, the whole song is basically her whining at her guyfriend saying "Look at me! Look at me! Look at me!". Guys don't find whining attractive. In fact, my guyfriends basically change the subject when I start whining because they -- unlike chick friends who think "I'm so glad this isn't happening to me!" -- don't really want to hear it. It's not that they don't care that I'm having issues with my ex or that my friend is causing drama, it's that I can handle it on my own and the whole "spreading the drama" thing? Totally not awesome.
So girls: Don't whine at the guy you like. He doesn't like it. If he does, he's secretly a girl and/or vindictive and doesn't like you back. So forget him, focus on getting better at math (so that you won't get the 'har har, girlz r bad @ math!' sticker) and suck it up. You'll meet the right fella' if you stop chasing the wrong one. Trust me on this.
So "You Belong With Me" comes off as desperate? Indeed. Which is why it speaks so loudly to young girls. "I know what's best for him and the reason he doesn't like me back has NOTHING to do with the fact that I'm trying too hard." I'll paraphrase my sister's advice to me: boys don't like girls who act like boys. In other words: guys don't want to be pursued.
What about "Speak now"?
Fond gestures are exchanged
And the organ starts to play a song that sounds like a death-march
And I am hiding in the curtains
It seems that I was uninvited by your lovely bride-to-be
She floats down the aisle like a pageant queen
But I know you wish it was me
You wish it was me...
(Don't you?)
(1) I'm not married. I have, however, seen enough RomComs and been to enough weddings (two of which I was in) and know what the bride is thinking: she's terrified and excited. These are the last moments before she's permanently joined to the man she loves most of all in the world. She is stressed. She's wearing a dress that is not comfortable and she's trying not to sweat because said dress costs as much as two car-payments and she's got to wrangle bridesmaids who are, quite frankly, probably more concerned about how they look than how the bride looks or feels. She's also got these decisions to make because no one is going to ask the groom what to do with the flowers or the cake or the food. On top of that, it's entirely likely the pregnant flautist's water just broke all over the front steps to the church and she's not going to make it to the ceremony, so her thirteen-year-old cousin whose mastery of the flute is basic at best has offered to step in and... there are a lot of things that could go wrong at your wedding. Let me just say that before we get too far off topic.
(2) The bride has a lot going on without some crazy ex-girlfriend (or friend? It's not specified in the song) trying to steal her man on her wedding day. Totally not cool, Taylor Swift.
(3) I fail to see how this is healthy. Granted, the fact that most of the song takes place in a daydream does add a certain something to it. I would argue, though, that the fact that she's fantasising about breaking up her ex's/friend's wedding because she's jealous. I mean, how often does breaking up any marriage or relationship work? Honestly, it doesn't.
also:He probably kissed the bride the day before. Do you really want sloppy-seconds, girls? (The thought makes me want to vomit.)
Where one song is desperate, the other makes me want to punch her (though I am currently singing along because I'm pretending its ironic).
What this boils down to is self-respect.
I don't know any actualised, self-respecting woman who would all but beg a man to love her or break up a wedding so that she could possibly get together with the groom an hour after he's out of his tux. The icing is still cool on the cake, I don't know what you're thinking.
Maybe the operative word is "woman". A girl will pout and shout and cry that she's not getting her way. A woman -- a real woman -- is poised and takes responsibility for her actions. She also says something to her love-interest before his wedding day (to a woman he must love if he [1] spent enough time with her to want to spend the rest of his life with her and [2] got down on his knee and asked her to marry him) so that she doesn't create a spectacle of herself. Real women don't make spectacles of themselves over a man. (Pro-tip: if he had wanted to marry you, he would have asked you.)
No, I'm not married.
Yes, I have been a fool for a man. I have been a fool over more than one man.
The difference between T.Swift and I is that I've learnt from my foolishness and am not letting men mess me about.
Now, do I still like her music? Heck yes. Do I still jam out to "Love Story" whenever it comes on? Yes. Will I endeavour to be more like T.Swift in 2011 and use her songs as a pattern to my life? Oh gosh, I hope not. I'm not desperate for attention and I don't plan to break up my ex's wedding, no matter what my personal feelings on the matter (I don't want cooties to be passed to me. That's icky).
Don't get me wrong. T.Swift is AWESOME and I think she's awesome and I will not hear a word against her talent. I think she's great. Let me say that.
I also think that lyrics in song such as "You Belong With Me" and "Speak now" send entirely the wrong message.
Right now, let's address her VMA-award winning "You Belong With Me".
"Can't you see that I'm the one who understands you
Been here all along
Why can't you see
You belong with me?"
1. If a guy had written those lyrics, I do believe he'd be called "STALKERRRRR" and shunned as a nerd/dork/creeper. Seriously.
2. He belongs with you? Is he a piece of property?
3. It's his life. He will be with whomever he chooses, regardless of your personal feelings. Believe me, trying to snare him into a relationship and then him realising that he doesn't want to be with you? It hurts more than him being with someone other than you.
Quite frankly, the whole song is basically her whining at her guyfriend saying "Look at me! Look at me! Look at me!". Guys don't find whining attractive. In fact, my guyfriends basically change the subject when I start whining because they -- unlike chick friends who think "I'm so glad this isn't happening to me!" -- don't really want to hear it. It's not that they don't care that I'm having issues with my ex or that my friend is causing drama, it's that I can handle it on my own and the whole "spreading the drama" thing? Totally not awesome.
So girls: Don't whine at the guy you like. He doesn't like it. If he does, he's secretly a girl and/or vindictive and doesn't like you back. So forget him, focus on getting better at math (so that you won't get the 'har har, girlz r bad @ math!' sticker) and suck it up. You'll meet the right fella' if you stop chasing the wrong one. Trust me on this.
So "You Belong With Me" comes off as desperate? Indeed. Which is why it speaks so loudly to young girls. "I know what's best for him and the reason he doesn't like me back has NOTHING to do with the fact that I'm trying too hard." I'll paraphrase my sister's advice to me: boys don't like girls who act like boys. In other words: guys don't want to be pursued.
What about "Speak now"?
Fond gestures are exchanged
And the organ starts to play a song that sounds like a death-march
And I am hiding in the curtains
It seems that I was uninvited by your lovely bride-to-be
She floats down the aisle like a pageant queen
But I know you wish it was me
You wish it was me...
(Don't you?)
(1) I'm not married. I have, however, seen enough RomComs and been to enough weddings (two of which I was in) and know what the bride is thinking: she's terrified and excited. These are the last moments before she's permanently joined to the man she loves most of all in the world. She is stressed. She's wearing a dress that is not comfortable and she's trying not to sweat because said dress costs as much as two car-payments and she's got to wrangle bridesmaids who are, quite frankly, probably more concerned about how they look than how the bride looks or feels. She's also got these decisions to make because no one is going to ask the groom what to do with the flowers or the cake or the food. On top of that, it's entirely likely the pregnant flautist's water just broke all over the front steps to the church and she's not going to make it to the ceremony, so her thirteen-year-old cousin whose mastery of the flute is basic at best has offered to step in and... there are a lot of things that could go wrong at your wedding. Let me just say that before we get too far off topic.
(2) The bride has a lot going on without some crazy ex-girlfriend (or friend? It's not specified in the song) trying to steal her man on her wedding day. Totally not cool, Taylor Swift.
(3) I fail to see how this is healthy. Granted, the fact that most of the song takes place in a daydream does add a certain something to it. I would argue, though, that the fact that she's fantasising about breaking up her ex's/friend's wedding because she's jealous. I mean, how often does breaking up any marriage or relationship work? Honestly, it doesn't.
also:He probably kissed the bride the day before. Do you really want sloppy-seconds, girls? (The thought makes me want to vomit.)
Where one song is desperate, the other makes me want to punch her (though I am currently singing along because I'm pretending its ironic).
What this boils down to is self-respect.
I don't know any actualised, self-respecting woman who would all but beg a man to love her or break up a wedding so that she could possibly get together with the groom an hour after he's out of his tux. The icing is still cool on the cake, I don't know what you're thinking.
Maybe the operative word is "woman". A girl will pout and shout and cry that she's not getting her way. A woman -- a real woman -- is poised and takes responsibility for her actions. She also says something to her love-interest before his wedding day (to a woman he must love if he [1] spent enough time with her to want to spend the rest of his life with her and [2] got down on his knee and asked her to marry him) so that she doesn't create a spectacle of herself. Real women don't make spectacles of themselves over a man. (Pro-tip: if he had wanted to marry you, he would have asked you.)
No, I'm not married.
Yes, I have been a fool for a man. I have been a fool over more than one man.
The difference between T.Swift and I is that I've learnt from my foolishness and am not letting men mess me about.
Now, do I still like her music? Heck yes. Do I still jam out to "Love Story" whenever it comes on? Yes. Will I endeavour to be more like T.Swift in 2011 and use her songs as a pattern to my life? Oh gosh, I hope not. I'm not desperate for attention and I don't plan to break up my ex's wedding, no matter what my personal feelings on the matter (I don't want cooties to be passed to me. That's icky).
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